Meet My Folks
by Pink-Kotote
Summary: Hilariously funny story about the whole "family" and their little guest who Sesshoumaru would do anything to kill!


"I have already told you Rin, you are not to converse with Shippou." Said Sesshoumaru sternly.

"Well...why not? You never had a problem with it before."

"You were young then, and things were different."

"That's not fair and you know it!"

"In this castle it is."

The girl shook her head and closed her eyes, as tears squeezed out of them. "You think you're so high and mighty, just because you're a demon, well you're not! You're just a big deceptibal jerk!" She turned around and ran out of the main doorway.

Sesshoumaru simply stood at the top of his Victorian steps, mouth open slightly. Kotote came up behind him, "Teenagers." She said simply.

'I can't believe him! He doesn't let me do anything!' Thought Rin as she ran away from the castle and into the woods. 'What was wrong with me talking to Shippou? He's me friend! He's just jealous because he doesn't have any friends!' She looked up, 'That's not true. He's got Kotote, but he treats her like dirt. Lord Sesshoumaru's people skills suck.'

Rin really wasn't sure how far she had walked and she didn't much are, she wasn't going back there, not tonight at least. She should find Shippou and Inuyasha that would really piss Sesshoumaru off.

Rin stopped at what looked like a good climbing tree, she hadn't climbed one of those babies since she was like six and there was no Lord Sesshoumaru to get her down if she got stuck. She frowned, fine with her. She grabbed the bottom branch and began to climb. Rin went as high as she could go and looked out over the horizon, the smoke from several fires caught her attention, a village. Maybe Shippou was there.

She quickly jumped down from the oak tree and headed in the direction of the village. Soon she had gotten close enough to smell the smoke, she peaked behind a tree. Several huts lined the outside of the village, one had a beautiful garden in the gront. Rin ooohed nad slwoly walked out from her hiding place, intraanced by the colorul agray of flowers.

The girl kneeled by a patch of forget-me-nots. 'Maybe I can take just one.' She thought.

"Do you like 'em?" Came a voice. Rin looked p to see an old woman, no taller than she, with black hair in a high pony-tail, she shreaked nad fell into a kind of cra walk postiton.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't going to take any, I was just looking! I swear!"

The woman smiled, "That okay...even thought I'm pretty sure that's a lie." Rin blushed.

The woman knelt down beside her and held out her hand, "I'm Miku, nice to meet you."

Rin stared at Miku's hadn for a moment, not sure what to do, then she slipped her hand into the woman's, saying, "My name is Rin."

The woman smiled, then stopped and looked around, "If you don't mind me asking, where are your parents?"

Rin stopped, she had no idea what to say, her parents? "Um...well, they're at home." She stumbled.

Miku frowned, "But I've never seen you around here before. Where do you live?"

Rin's eyes widened, she wasn't a very good liar, "Away. Back there in the woods."

Miku looked confused, "In the woods? What, in a cabin?" Rin was starting to feel a little violated, "Uh-sure." The woman made a face, there was something this girl was not telling her,

"Dear, tell me, who are your parents?"

Rin didn't answer.

"Do you have parents?" She persisted.

"Of course I do! I just-they're different, that's all."

"Well, they must be if they let you come out here all by yourself, and its' getting dark." She looked at the horizon, "Why don't I take you home, huh?"

Rin hopped up, waving her hands, "Oh no, no, no, no, no, they, uh, don't like company. Any you know, we're not that far back there so I'll just go now."

Miku shook her head, "Nope. I wont take no for an answer, you're coming with me." She took Rin's arm and pulled her into the woods. Rin protesting all the way.

"Jaken...get me some...caffinated beverage. Now."

"Yes, me lord." Jaken bowed and left the room.

Sesshoumaru sat in his red velvet chair, looking out his window with the Victorian frame. Rin hadn't returned yet and night was falling. He leaned forward, as if pleading with the window to give some clue to the girls where a bouts.

"BOO!" Screamed Kotote behind him.

Sesshoumaru jumped and turned to the woman, next second his hand was around her neck, "What in the name of all that is legal are you doing?" He snarled.

She coughed, "Scaring the-," Cough, "shit out of you." She gasped.

He let go, almost throwing Kotote backward, and went back to staring at his reflection. Kotote gasped,

"I think you gave me a hicky!" She yelled, rubbing her neck. Sesshoumaru slowly turned his head toward her.

"How could you get any form of a hicky from someone strangling you?"

"Its possible."

Sesshoumaru sarcastically nodded.

Kotote gasped again and Sesshoumaru thought she might have found another strange mark on herself. But when he looked up she had her face pressed up against the glass, she was pointing to the grounds. "Its Rin!"

"What-where?" Said Sesshoumaru, also pushing on the window. It was now Sesshoumaru's turn to gasp. Rin was being tugged along by a strange looking woman, a stubborn looking woman.

"Who's that?" Said Kotote, she was talking to on one, "Sesshoumaru? What are you doing over there?" He was fumbling with the lock on the door, "I am going to go down there and kill that woman before she sees anything of this place." Kotote frowned, killing was not something she approved of. She pressed her ear against the glass in hopes of hearing something. Rin was pleading with the woman not to come in. The woman wasn't listening.

"Nonsense! Your parents can take some time out to listen to me, since they obviously don't' take time out for you." Miku pointed out.

"Oh my god!" Said Kotote, backing away from the window.

Sesshoumaru had just opened to door. "Kotote, remember, we are not o say the G word in this house."

"Nevermind the g word Sesshoumaru! That woman down there is looking for Rin's parents!"

"So?"

"So, Sesshoumaru, she's talking about us!"

He stopped, computing this new information, slowly his eyes widened, "That's it, she dies now!" he turned around ready to bolt, Kotote grabbed his arm mid-step.

"No! You can't kill her without a motive! Its unethical!"

Sesshoumaru stared, "Did you seriously just say that to me?"

"I mean it...and it's right in front of Rin too. You can't kill that woman."

"Damn you." He breathed.

"Don't 'damn you' me mister-man!"

Sesshoumaru tutted, "Well I f I don't' kill her what am I going to do with her?"

A smile slowly crept along Kotote's face, she pushed the door open, grabbed his arms and pulled him down that hall to her room. He stood, his face expressionless next to her dresser, watching her go through her drawers throwing things out. A small round disk flew at him and he caught it in his hand. He looked down at the black surface, confused.

"Concealer." He said, reading to label on the bottom.

Kotote turned, "Oh, you found it, thank you!" She took the concealer and unscrewed the cap.

Sesshoumaru was even more confused, "What are you going to do with that?" He stammered.

"Oh, nothing much." Said Kotote, "Nothing you'll enjoy anyway." She added quietly.

"I heard that."

"Shh...hold still."

Suddenly Sesshoumaru felt cold...something being rubbed onto his face. He leaned away, "What are you doing to me woman?" He rubbed his cheek, there was skin colored something covering his marks.

"Don't take it off!" Screamed Kotote, "Don't worry. It'll make you look more human." She rubbed more on his forehead.

He grabbed her wrist, "And why would I want to do that?"

"Like I said, that woman out there is looking for some parents, so if we act like Rin's parents we can get rid of her faster. Without killing the woman." She added lamely.

"Be Rin's parents, are you mad woman? I'm not going to act married to you for one second." He turned from her and folded his arms. Then he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head, "What are you doing with my hair!"

"Putting it in a pony tail, trust me, you'll look super freaky without it."

He was about to comment on the fact that he didn't think he looked "super freaky" at all, when he heard Rin calling.

"Uh...Dad? Mom? Where are you?"

Kotote looked startled, "Um...coming dear!" She removed Sesshoumaru's fluff and arm with some difficulty. How did he even get dressed in the morning? Sesshoumaru was not happy about this either, he turned to her,

"Dear?" He said, unbelievably

"Oh, shut-up Sesshoumaru, ya immature ass hole."

"Excuse me?"

"C'mon." She pulled him out of the room, but not before he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. 'Heaven help me.' He thought. If Inuyasha ever saw him like this he would be the first person in history to have a heart attack and a stroke at the same time. He was being pulled down his marble steps. 'I can't believe I'm doing this.' He thought desperately. He could see Rin and the strange woman at the bottom of the stairs. Rin was staring at him, wide-eyed.

"Lo-er-Dad? How are you?"

"Where have you been?" Sesshoumaru asked, trying to keep his composure.

"You should know." Interrupted the woman, she was considerably shorter than he was but she had no trouble getting up in his face.

Sesshoumaru's eye twitched, even this woman's voice was annoying, "Who are you and what do you want?"

"Miku Muibar and I would like to talk to you about your parenting skills."

"My what?!" he spat. Miku looked startled, then Kotote came forward.

"Oh, don't mind him, he just-hasn't eaten yet. My name is Kotote, it's nice to meet you."

Miku cocked a brow, but shook Kotote's out stretched hand, "Yes, well, it's nice to you too, but it's not so nice that I was the one who had to bring your daughter home. Shouldn't you be the one to do that?"

Kotote straightened up, "Yes, but, she was just going for a little walk, she was just fine, we trust her to come home who-,"

"Well maybe you should not leave everything up to her because that was hardly what I call a little walk."

Kotote didn't know what to say. She looked up at Sesshoumaru there was no mercy in his eyes. The woman looked toward the door, "Well, it's getting late...hopefully I'll make it home in time to make dinner."

Kotote thought fast, they should make it up to Miku, "You could stay with us for dinner." She said, half-heartedly.

Miku smiled, "How nice of you."

"I do not understand what could have possessed you to invite that woman to eat at out castle!" Sesshoumaru banged his fists on the table. He and Kotote were waiting for iku and Rin to come down to have dinner.

"Oh, but Sesshoumaru, I was only being polite," Argued Kotote, "She was really nice to bring Rin back."

"I don't care if she's Mother Teresa! I want her out of my castle!" He stood up angrily and turned away from Kotote.

"Ugh-I don't know, but Sesshoumaru-but it's just for one night, she east and she leaves, okay?"

The human looking youkai turned, "Alright, but we eat fast."

"Good. Now sit you ass back down."

"My what?" Sesshoumaru was about to yell at Kotote for comparing a part of him to a donkey, when Rin rushed into the room.

"Lord Sesshoumaru what is going on here! Miku's gonna be down here any minute and you're fighting!"

"But we always fight before dinner." Kotote whined.

"Not anymore. For tonight you're gonna have to act like you love eachother, okay?"

Sesshoumaru leaned forward, "Rin, allow me to tell you something about love...I don't know who it feels, I have never been in love, and I hope I never will. Thank you."

"Fine, then pretend the best you can." Said Run testily, "You just have to be in this mentally. ...YOU'RE MARRIED!" She screamed and made a hand motion between the two of them. "My lord, you're married to Kotote and Kotote, you're married to-,"

"The wall?" Asked Kotote, Rin snorted. Kotote had a way of lighting things up when it got tense. The girl decided to play along.

"No, Kotote, the thing in front of the wall." Kotote was looking behind Sesshoumaru, trying not to laugh, "The table?" She asked.

"No, the thing beside the table."

She groaned, "Are you sure? 'Cause that table is pretty sexy."

Sesshoumaru clenched his fists, "Kotote, you're married to me!" He shouted.

The woman stopped and stared up at him, then she smirked and pressed her hip into his side, "Why...Sesshoumaru? I didn't know you cared."

"Get away from me."

Later when Miku came down to dinner and Sesshoumaru's BBL (Blood Boiling Level) was down, they all sat down at the extremely long table.

"So what are we having?" Asked Miku.

"Frillet of aggravating woman." Mumbled Sesshoumaru.

"What was that?"

"Nothing...I'm not sure we'll have to wait for Jaken to come out."

"Jaken?"

Jus tthen the toad demon came in, balancing several trays. Miku screamed, "AH! A demon! DEMON!" Jaken gave a 'if I had my staff I'd-,' look to the strange woman and set the trays down on the sexy table.

Rin, who was sitting next to her tried to calm the woman down, "Don't worry, he's completely safe."

"Yeah," Said Kotote, putting her chin her upturned palms, "You've had all your shots, haven't you Jaken?"

They ate their dinner in peace, for a while, but of course, Kotote had to start something. She pushed her plate away from her, "Uh...I can't finish this, do you want this?" She looked to Sesshoumaru.

He looked up from his small cup of green tea, "I don't want your scraps."

"But Jaken slaved over a hot fire thingy making this! I don't want it to go to waste."

"I have an idea, maybe you could shove it up your-," SMACK!

The clatter of silverware was head as Sesshoumaru's chair fell over, from the force of Kotote's backhand.

He got up slowly and dusted himself off. Without saying a word, without any expression of anger (or any emotion for that matter) he picked up his chair and sat back down.

Miku leaned closer to Rin, "Your parents don't seem to love eachother very much." She whispered.

Sesshoumaru's super-sonic hearing picked up this remark. He straightened up, looked around, without thinking he reached over and laid a hand on Kotote's. She jumped,

"Hey, Sesshoumaru, whatcha dong with your hand there buddy?" She whispered.

He leaned forward, "Shh, trust me, just play along."

Kotote winked, "Oh yeah-I gottcha." She slipped her hand out from under his and rested her chin in her on her fist, "Sesshoumaru?"

"Yes, Kotote?" He said, cautiously.

"Do you love me?"

All was quiet, Sesshoumaru's eye twitched, "What?"

"I said...do you love me?" Leave it to Kotote to take things way to far. He looked over to Rin and Miku, watching him intently, waiting for he answer. 'Oh for the love of Jaken, someone help me.'

"Well?" Kotote interrupted his thoughts.

"I-I-loooov...I lov-," he coughed. Sesshoumaru was choking on the word love. And Rin was starting to wonder if he needed the himlich maneuver.

"C'mon, you can say it."

"I loooooovvve y-y-yak butter." He stuttered.

"You love what?"

"I-I looove-yo-yos?"

"No."

"I love...you." Sesshoumaru was stunned that he was able to say this and when he did, he felt somewhat lighter, like a lead weight had been lifted off his chest. Kotote didn't say anything, she wasn't expecting him to say it either. She blushed furiously.

Miku cleared her throat and served herself some food, 'What an interesting family.' She thought, shaking her head.

They were halfway through dinner when Miku thought of something, "Um...excuse me sir," She looked toward Sesshoumaru, "I know your wife's name, but I didn't catch yours."

He looked up from the table, "My name? My name is S-,"

"Joe." Interrupted Kotote. "Joe" looked toward her slowly.

"Joe?" Miku sounded skeptical

"Uh, yes, but he really prefers to be called Joseph, don't you honey?"

"Yes...dear. May I talk to you for a moment?"

"Of course."

Sesshoumaru took his new wife into the next room, closed the small oak door and pushed her further into the room.

"My name is what now?" He snarled.

"Joe...sph?" Said Kotote cautiously.

"Wrong answer!" He lifted his hand to punch her, but she ducked so that he punched thin air. "Dammit Kotote!"

She attempted to run from him, but he grabbed her arm and slammed her back into the door. Unfortunately the door could not withstand all this pressure, thusly caving in. Even more unfortunate, Sesshoumaru, being right in front of Kotote when the door collapsed ended up right on top of her when the door fell to the ground.

Miku gasped at the sight of them on the floor and slowly lifted her hand to Rin's eyes, "Don't watch."

Sesshoumaru realized what was going on and tried to get up, "Uh-Kotote, I didn't-I'm sorry-I-,"

"Shh, don't speak." Whispered Kotote in his ear. His eyes widened,

"What, Kotote! What are you talking about?"

Kotote stared seriously at him for a moment before loosing her composure and bursting out laughing. And before long Miku let go of Rin to cover her own mouth with her hand, so as to keep herself from cackling. And Rin was a sliver close to putting her face in her food.

Sesshoumaru however did not find this very funny at all, in fact he advised himself that after this he should not find anything remotely funny ever again. He was just about to get of this annoying woman when Miku spoke.

"Oh c'mon you two, you're not just gonna leave it at that are you? Give us a kiss."

Sesshoumaru looked up, face pale, "I don't think that's appropriate."

"Oh, Rin can take a little affection. Can't you Rin?"

Rin slowly nodded, staring at Sesshoumaru. He looked down at Kotote, she was redder than a tomato from Jaken's garden. 'I'm not kissing you.' He though, knowing that she would read his mind,

'I know.' Came a message back, 'But-,' She broke off suddenly.

'But what?'

'Nothing-nevermind.'

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened, 'Do you want me to kiss you?'

'No!' Kotote yelled tellaphatically, 'Of course not, but-she is our guest.'

"Please?" Pleaded Miku, "You two are so cute together!" Sesshoumaru snorted, that was a lie...wasn't it?

"Yeah Dad." Rin piped in, "Please?"

He looked down into Kotote's eyes again, then rolled his own. 'That girl is so grounded.' But he leaned forward anyway and lightly (very lightly) brushed his lips with Kotote's. Then he jumped up, completely humiliated and stalked out of the room without a single word. Kotote stood up cautiously,

"Well that was interesting." She said, scratching the back of her head.

"Joseph certainly isn't very affetionate." Commented Miku.

"Oh...he's just shy." Kotote said.

The strange woman smiled and looked around, "Well, I guess I'd better go." She stood up.

"Oh, let me see you out." Said Rin.

The two reached the door and Rin pulled it open, then stepped away from it. The front side of her completely soaked, "Well I guess it's raining." She said, spitting out water.

"Oh nonsense, a little water never hurt anyone." Said Miku proudly.

"No, I can't send you out in that, it's not safe!" Begged Rin, "Please, stay the night."

Just then Kotote came through the door from the dinning room and hearing Rin say this raced up the steps toward Sesshoumaru's room.

She flung open the door, ran inside and slammed it behind her, "Sesshoumaru!" She panted.

He was standing by his window staring at the blackened sky, "Hmm...." He said quietly.

"She's staying." Kotote hissed. These words snapped Sesshoumaru out of his trance. "What? No."

"Yes."

"Not in my castle she's not." He went for the door.

"No, it's raining shit loads out there."

Sesshoumaru looked at her for a moment. "But you wee, I don't care how many shit loads of water are out there, she leaves, now." He turned to door knob and opened it to see Miku standing there. She stepped inside.

"Oh, what a nice bedroom you two have here."

"Us two?" Sesshoumaru's eye started to twitch again.

"I hate that woman," Said Sesshoumaru, pacing around "their" room.

"I know, I mean, I'm not one to speak ill of someone but...I really think she should burn in hell for all eternity." Called Kotote from the master bathroom. "Oh...and uh, Sesshoumaru?"

"What?"

"Can I borrow a yukata?"

"Sleep in your kimono."

"No, its uncomfortable."

Sesshoumaru sighed, "Fine." He looked through his drawers for his smallest yukata. "Here." He said, throwing it at the bathroom door. And just like clockwork, Kotote opened the door just enough to reaffh her arm out and grab it before it hit the wall.

"Thanks...uh...it's a bit big." She called from the bathroom.

"Deal with it."

She stepped out of the bathroom, adjusting the sash around her waist, "Do you think this makes my boobs look small?"

Sesshoumaru turned, "I don't see a difference." He shrugged.

Kotote gasped, "Sesshoumaru, you go to far."

The youkai almost found this amusing, he sat on the bed and tossed a pillow and blanket on the floor.

"What are you doing?"

"Making your bed." He replied.

"What? No way-I'm not sleeping on the floor!"

"Yes, you are, because I will not allow you to sleep in my bed, in my home, in my western lands. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, but...the floor is all cold and hard, it's a lot like you actually...I don't wanna sleep on you."

Sesshoumaru snorted, "Don't worry, you'll be fine. Trust me."

"No."

"Here, let me help you." He stood up and shoved Kotote on the floor.

"Ouch!" Kotote rubbed her tail bone, "That wasn't very nice." She whined.

"Well, I'm not a very nice person." Sesshoumaru was just about to sit on his bed when something grabbed his arm, he turned, Kotote's eyes were lit and her fangs were out,

"If you touch that bed I will make sure that every waking moment of your life is full of misery and torment."

Sesshoumaru lifted a finger to point something out. Kotote put her hand over his, "Even if you kill me." She added.

Sesshoumaru leaned forward so that their noses were touching, "Nothing you do could convince me to sleep on the floor."

"I can't believe I'm sleeping on my floor." Sesshoumaru sat-up in his "bed" and looked over to Kotote, breathing heavily, in the exact place he would've been sleeping in. 'Damn her.' He thought jealously. 'Well there's no way in hell I'm sleeping next to her. So better make the best of it.' He lay back down and closed his eyes.

About two hours past before Sesshoumaru awoke again. He shot up in bed, eyes wide. He was an inch close to screaming. It must have been that kiss before, because his dream was way past PG-13. He panted and smacked himself outside the head, "Stupid man. Stupid thoughts. Get out, get out, get out, get out!" He whispered.

Suddenly he head a knock on the door. He thought maybe it was Rin, she never had liked storms. "Come in." He said quietly. It was, in fact, not Rin at all-but she poked her head curiously in the room and whispered, "Joe-er-Joseph? Are you alright? I was on the way to the bathroom-where ever that is-and I heard you talking."

"Oh yes, um," He cleared his throat, 'How am I going to explain me on the floor?', "I must've fallen out of bed."

Miku nodded, "That happens-are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Well, aren't you going to get into bed?"

Sesshoumaru hesitated, then got up and got into bed next to Kotote. Which was very embarrassing. But it made Miku happy. She smile a good night and went on her way. Sesshoumaru sat up, it was so much more comfortable in his bed than on the floor. And Kotote looked so peaceful where she slept, he didn't want to move her. So he pushed her over a bit more and lay down, where they slept till morning.

Kotote's eyes flickered open slowly. She lay on her side, the side overlooking the place Sesshoumaru was supposed to be sleeping on. But she couldn't see him on the floor. She leaned forward a bit. He wasn't there, that's when she realized his arm was around her.

"AHHH! Sesshoumaru, what are you doing?!"

He sat bolt upright in bed, "What? Demon? Where?!" Then he looked over at Kotote, she looked terrified. "Kotote...hello. I bet you're wondering why I'm here?"

She nodded.

He sighed and covered his head with his hands, "I apologize, you see there's a logical explanation for-," He stopped suddenly, for apon looking at her again he noticed that her yukata was open, "Um, Kotote, your-your-uh-,"

"What? My what?" Kotote looked around. Sesshoumaru looked away from Kotote's round breasts.

"Your, it's just, I mean-well you don't have to close it if you don't want to, you could leave it that way all day if you want, but, you know, there's children and-,"

"Sesshoumaru what are you talking about?" It was then that Kotote looked down, "Oh my god!" She screamed, then her eyes lit up, "You perverted asshole!"

Sesshoumaru jumped out of bed and made a move for the door. Kotote got up too, she got and grabbed the glass oil lamp from the bedside table and broke the top, so that the glass was jagged and sharp. She backed him up against the door, the glass pointed at his neck.

"Kotote," He said warningly, "think about what you're doing."

She shook her head, "I can't believe you-you, god I can't even thin of what to call you!" Sesshoumaru looked around, searching for a way to stop her without messing up his beautiful, not to mention, expensive furniture. Finally he decided to push her. Yes, push her.

He laid his hand on her shoulder and gave her a small shove, she shrieked, landed on her ass and in doing so, dropped the lamp.

Sesshoumaru chuckled, while somehow maintaining his straight face. But if possible his face got even more straightened when he saw Kotote grab his favorite blue vase and hold it high above her head.

"You wouldn't dare." He growled.

"You don't know me very well." She said and dropped the vase. It smashed into a million pieces on the floor.

Sesshoumaru looked at the broken ceramic at his feet. "You've gone to far." He snarled. He raised his fist and with that raised his head to see his offender.

This his surprise there was no fear in Kotote's eyes, instead they glowed with blue flames, she smirked, "Cool."

Miku walked up the main staircase to try and find the Mr. and the Mrs. She felt that she had overstayed her welcome and was getting ready to leave. She looked both ways, unsure of where to go. 'This castle is much to big.' She thought. The woman walked past Joseph's and Kotote's room when she heard a large crash. "Oh my goodness!" She gasped and raced for the door.

She heard a growling from inside the room and peaked her head in. Joseph had his back to the door. But his fist was raised and it was the first time she noticed he had very long nails.

Miku looked over to Kotote, she was smiling a wicked smile, and her eyes so bright they could blind someone. It slowly dawned on Miku that these people were far from human.

Kotote jumped up to dodge an attack from Joseph's whip. She flew toward him at full speed and rammed him into the door. Miku stepped away from the door just before he came flying though it. She shrieked, Joe hurtled into the far wall, cracking it from the ceiling to floor. He grumbled and held his head. He head rustling and looked up just in time to see Miku racing down the stairs and out of sight.

Sesshoumaru heard laughing above him, joyous laughing. Kotote reached out a hand to him. "Equal?" She giggled.

He nodded and stood up, "By the way," She continued with a looked toward the steps, "Your marks are showing."

"Daddy, are we there yet?" Called Chichiro bouncing beside her father.

"How can we be there yet, if we don't even know where we're going?" Spat Inuyasha.

"Now, Inuyasha, it was just a question." Said Kagome, rubbing her stomach. She was a good four months pregnant, and was expecting a little boy. Inuyasha had been very happy about that.

Miroku, Sango, Shippou and Kilala walked in the back, arguing over the pros and cons of having a son or a daughter. Sango herself wanted a girl so she wouldn't be the only woman demon slayer anymore.

She was in her slayer attire, and several people in the village had noticed her already.

"Demon! Demon! Someone help!" Screamed a woman behind them. Sango turned and ran for her,

"Are you alright? Where's the demon?" She gasped.

"In the forest, a huge castle-there's two of them. And they're holding a little girl captive." Breathed the woman, she colapsed to her knees and sobbed,

"Oh poor Rin, poor Rin!"

Inuyasha stepped forward, "Rin?" he looked toward Kagome, "Sesshoumaru." They said together.

The six companions walked through the forest in search of Sesshoumaru's castle. (They decided to leave Miku behind, she was in no condition to travel, plus she was really annoying.)

Shippou stopped at a tree, "I can barely smell Rin, but she was here...this way." He took off further into t he forest. It was difficult to smell anything because of the heavy rain from the night before. But you could have been a mile off track and still reached some part of Sesshoumaru's castle anyway.

Inuyasha looked up at his brothers big ass home. He smiled and walked up and touched the stone. Then he turned to the others and did a little jig, "I know where Sesshoumaru lives. I know where Sesshoumaru lives." He sang.

Kotote opened a window jus above Inuyasha's head. Sesshoumaru lifted a bucked onto the window sill. They both tipped the bucket to a precise angle.

"Target sighted." Whispered Kotote, "Ready, aim-,"

"Fire!" Yelled Sesshoumaru.

Inuyasha was in verse two of his song when he heard his brother yell, 'fire'. He looked up just in time to see their ammo-bucket and all land on his head. He roared and spit out water. "What the hell was that Sesshoumaru!" He yelled.

"I have no idea." Said the youkai from the window.

"Are you ringing out your greasy hair on oriental rug?" Sesshoumaru asked quietly. Inuyasha stopped pouring god knows what on the carpet and stared at his brother.

The scene was that of a gangster movie. Sesshoumaru had his back turned from the rest of the group. He sat in a plushy leather chair and Kotote stood next to him, hands behind her back.

"Do you have a reason for coming here?" She said in her best Italian accent.

Kagome snorted, "We were told to come here." She said simply, also using her Italian accent.

Kotote nodded, "A woman by the name of Miku gave you out where abouts? Correct?" She inquired.

Inuyasha and the others were confused, so the simply said yes and let Kagome do the rest of the talking. "You have a problem with the woman?" Kagome inquired.

Sesshoumaru moved in his chair slightly, "We want her dead."

"No, we don't do that kind of thing." Kagome frowned.

Kotote stepped forward and poked her finger into Kagome's chest. "If you wont' do it, the you'll soon be getting a visit from Uncle Tony, capiche?"

Kagome could tell that Kotote was trying very hard not to laugh, she decided to make it harder, "Which Uncle Tony?" She asked. Kotote snorted, the regained her composure.

"I have a random Uncle Tony in my head. If you choose the wrong Uncle Tony, you die. And since you have a bun in the oven, I don't think you want that to happen, do you?" She pointed to Kagome's stomach. They stared seriously at eachother for a moment before they burst out laughing.

Inuyasha looked up at his wife, a scared expression on his face. Sesshoumaru turned his chair around to face the others, "Now seriously, what do you want?"

"Some woman told us to come here, and she said you were keeping Rin hostage." Said Shippou.

"Which of course isn't true-," Miroku said hastily, "But we just came down here to maker her happy."

"And to make her shut-up." Added Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru nodded,

"Yes. That woman can be...trying, at times."

"Trying?" Screamed Kotote, "Are you blind and deaf? That woman should be blown off the face of the earth, she should explode into itty bitty pieces, be swept up, put in a box and sent to Siberia where ever the hell that is! And another thing, I-,"

Kotote couldn't say anything else because before she could finish, Sesshoumaru stood up and covered her mouth with his hand.

But nothing like that ever stopped her before, "Fey, diff if no' fayer, 'et jo!"

"I'm sorry Kotote, I can't understand you, could you speak more clearly? Enunciate Kotote, enunciate." Said Sesshoumaru, almost smiling. She looked up, angrily at him, then at his hand.

He felt something we on his palm and he let go, "You-you kissed my hand." He said, disgusted.

Kotote smiled wickedly and turned back to the others, "You've come a long way, would you like to stay for dinner?"

"I don't understand what could have possed youto invite my brother to eat at out house."

This time Kotote ignored Sesshoumaru's rants, he was just blowing off steam. And he was just about to rant some more when Kagome busted in the room, followed by Sango, Miroku and Inuyasha.

"What we eatin'?" Said the hanyou, rubbing his stomach and licking his lips.

Sesshoumaru didn't dignify his brother with an answer, hoping he would not speak again. Inuyasha growled at his brother, he thought he was so good. Kagome gave him a look and he grudgingly sat down next to her.

Kotote sat at the far end of the table from Sesshoumaru, who kept shooting her evil looks when no one was looking.

Jaken brought out the food and they all started to chew on...what ever it was except for Sesshoumaru who curtly picked up his small cup of green tea. Inuyasha grabbed a leg of...whatever it was and bit into it. Then he looked to Kotote in surprise, "Kotote, what the hell is this?"

The woman shrugged, "I dunno-Sesshoumaru just calls it the other, other white meat." She laughed. At this point all head turned to the otherside of the table.

"Is this," Inuyasha inquired, "sarcasm from the great Sesshoumaru?"

"No." Was his only reply. He then chugged the last of his green tea and threw the small cup at his younger brother. Who in turn flicked his chopstick at Sesshoumaru's eye. The youkai reached out, grabbed the chopstick from the air and crunched it into saw dust. "Next time, it will be your skull."

"Oh, so that's how it is?" Inuyasha said wryly.

"That's how its always been." Sesshoumaru picked up a near by plate with carrot remains on it and fisbeed it so hard the air whistled.

Inuyasha dodged it easily, "Hey! Watch it, there's children here!"

"Stop it, Inuyasha!" Yelled Kagome, "Just eat."

The two siblings grudgingly sat back down and stared at what was left of their silverware.

"Half-breed." Muttered Sesshoumaru.

"Bastard." Uttered Inuyasha.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Sesshoumaru pounded a fist on the table, "Why are you even here?" He asked angrily.

"Well," Inuyasha straightened his gi, "I would like to start out by saying, that it's al her fault!" He pointed to a startled Kotote.

"Who, me?" She said, pointing to her chest.

"Yes, you." Everyone replied.

"Couldn't be." She shook her head.

"Silence!" Yelled Sesshoumaru.

"No, Sesshy," Scolded Kotote, "You're supposed to say, 'Then who?'."

"Not another word out of you, Kotote." Sesshoumaru growled, standing up. "All of this is your fault, do you realize that? This whole damned thing-all because of you." He pushed his chair out and stalked out of the room, past Kotote and to the door.

Everyone watched him leave, watched him open the door and walk out. Then watched him march right back in again. Followed by a little woman with a frying pan held high over her head.

"Demon." She scowled, "Nasty demon. Keeping a poor girl locked in here with you. You monsters."

She backed Sesshoumaru all the way back to his seat, he slowly looked around with a look of, 'If I had a yen for every for every time I saw this woman without really wanting too, I'd have two yen.'.

Kotote caught his look and nodded with a look that said, 'I'm sure I would agree with you, if I had even the slightest idea what yen was.'

Everyone held their breath as Sesshoumaru slowly backed his way to his seat. Getting hit by Miku probably wouldn't have damaged him physically, but his ego would never recover. He looked to the table of his "companions" for their help, but they all seemed completely out of it. Only Kotote seemed even to care.

She looked around the room for something pointy, but didn't want to hurt Miku, so she decided to trick her instead.

She picked up her spoon and took a very obvious sip of her soup and choked. She made a the worlds biggest scene of sputtering and coughing as if it was poisoned. Which she seemed to be going for, since she then collapsed out of her chair.

And died.

Or so it appeared. Kotote did a very good job of faking her last breath.

Miku seemed extremely disturbed by this sight. But not so much so that she dropped her cooking utensil.

Sesshoumaru, finally realizing what Kotote was trying to do, he looked at his uneaten dinner and then back at Miku.

And died.

He lay on the floor, trying his hardest not the move, listening to the woman beside him speak hurriedly to Inuyasha, "Oh my gosh! What happened to them? Are they-dead?"

Inuyasha himself, having no idea what was going on himself, didn't say anything. But luckily Kagome stood up quickly and said, "Food poisoning-it was Inuyasha's idea. We-uh-were trying to catch them off guard." She raised her hand and scratched the back of her head nervously. "So you see, we had everything under control."

"Yeah," Added Inuyasha, finally understanding, "Well...I guess my work here is done."

Kagome rolled her eyes, "So, we'll be just taking Rin with us."

"Yes." Miroku said, rising, "So as you can see, we're handling it so....you can go now."

Then Sango, Miroku and Chichiro went to the woman and pushed her kicking and struggling to the front of the door.

"But what if they wake up?" She asked.

"They're dead, dead people don't wake up." Replied Sango.

"Are you sure Rin is safe?"

"Safer than she would be in your hands." Mumbled Miroku.

"I'm sorry...what was that?"

"Nothing! Now go!"

The trio then shoved Miku through the door and closed it hard, panting.

"What if we can hear her still?" Chichiro said, frightendly.

"Nonsense...theses doors are solid oak-no sound can pierce this." Miroku reasoned.

"But what if Rin gets hurt?" came a muffled voice though the door.

Sango and Miroku gapped at eachother, "Go home, Miku!" They yelled.

Chichiro laughed.

"Thanks you guys."

"No problem babe." Replied Kotote.

Sesshoumaru didn't say anything.

"And Lord Sesshoumaru...I'm sorry." Rin said sullenly. He looked up,

"So you will not leave this place unless told?" He said.

She nodded, "I promise." Sesshoumaru looked back towards the fire. Rin seemed disappointed.

Kotote leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I think he's sorry too."

Rin smiled, "Apology excepted." She said to him and laughed as he looked up at her, astonished.

"Time for bed Rin." Said Kotote, the girl nodded and ran out of the room.

"Well...allow me to be the first one to say that today was fucked." Kotote said, sitting on Sesshoumaru's lap.

"I'll second that. Wife."

"Awesome honey."


End file.
